On the Construction of Society
by PureWaterLily
Summary: The blueprinting of a new societal order by two great men. Err, boys. Crack.


Hashirama sat at the ledge of a cliff, his arms spread wide."And we'll have missions! We can rank everyone based off skill so there's no more mindless deaths. And the head leader would sit there, in a giant tower, to watch over everyone. And right below, we're going to have a school, where kids can learn and play together, and there we'll have-"

"A bank." Madara stroked his chin.

Hashirama turned to his companion with a befuddled expression. "What?"

Madara, though in every way as idealistic and intuitive as the boy beside him, still always managed to come from a different perspective. "A bank," Madara said, raising an index finger. "We will introduce a unified currency system, and have bankers and economists-"

"Whoa, whoa, hold it right there! You can't have _bankers_!" Hashirama gasped.

Madara pulled his lips into a pout. "Why not? If we can have some type of monitored financial system, then we have an increase in investment, capital, and infrastructure, leading to a more stable, wealthy nation."

"But bankers are _evil_!"

"What."

"Yes, they are greedy bastards who steal the product of everyone's hard labor! We will never let our noble communistic society ever be tainted with the corruption of capitalism. If I spy anyone miserly, I would beat him within an inch of his life!"

Madara rolled his eyes, as Hashirama continued his rant.

"But we're going to have engineers, right?" Madara interrupted.

Once again, Hashirama gave him the question mark.

"Engineers. You know, people who examine the inner mechanisms of the natural world, model designs off our own anatomy, and create machinery that run through a systematic manipulation of chakra strings. Then we can rid of the feudalistic slave labor system, and everyone would have more leisure time to contemplate things like culture and art." Madara broke out of his musing. He stared at his friend. "What?"

"Are you crazy?"

"What's wrong with the idea?"

"You want to remove all the _hard work_ in the world, and allow people to laze around like giant pigs while _puppets _run everything?"

"Okay, the word puppets sound stupid. How about a new word, like _robotics_?"

"Have you once considered the possibility that those _puppets_ you exploit would rebel and enslave the entire human race?"

"You say it as if the rise of the ninja was historically not a mode of slave rebellion itself. But machinery is no different than a sword or house. It's not like they have any sort of sentience."

"You overlook the fact you're stealing all the _hard work _of the _hard working_ people. You can't have them go unemployed!" To really emphasize his point, Hashirama repeated in a serious tone, "_Hard work._"

"_Fine_. How's this. If you don't want to increase technology, then let's bring in priests."

Hashirama's eye twitched, so Madara held up his hand for an explanation. "If you want to maintain a feudal system, you need _something _to install morale into the people, tolerate the pain and injustice in their lives, and come together as a community. Promises of eternal salvation or immortality is a great way to keep the lower castes oppressed, on top of making them feel good about it. It's a win-win."

After a long silence, Hashirama declared, "You're evil."

Madara jerked back, hurt. Then, angry, he leaned in and poked Hashirama in the chest. "Look, if you don't want religion, then you must change the feudal system. How about _politicians_ then? We install a _republic_, and have a board to determine policies that best governs the people. A head political figure can inspire and lead the people. He can have a sexy secretary that acts as the media intermediary for him and the people, and a militia to reinforce the code of law."

"Really, Madara, you support the greedy, the lazy, the blind, the corrupt-"

"Scientists then!"

"- and now, the vain."

"Come on, scientists. The people who research and build the knowledge of our civilization. The ones who make breakthroughs that can increase our health and quality of living. Maybe even one day bring our loved ones back to life."

"You mean those who tamper with the forbidden, and creep underground with their pasty white skin." Hashirama shuddered.

"Consider how they have to sacrifice their personal lives and practically live in underground labs, yes, they get pale. But image if they teamed up with the engineers. Then we can drastically change humanity and progress into a truer future."

"You-"

"Furthermore," Madara interrupted. "Imagine if we also brought in the _artists_, the minds of innovation, beauty, and creativity. Imagine if the _artist_ teamed up with the _engineer_ who collaborated with the _scientist_, who knows what our society can accomplish. Beyond manufacturing and robotics, we can go into communications, aerocrafts, cybernetics, nanotechnology-"

"You're just making words up now," said Hashirama with a fold of his arms.

"You're just jealous, because you can't draw."

Hashirama hung his head, lines of depression spiraling above his head. Madara, being exploited for sympathies once more, shut up and tried to approach Hashirama from several angles with misconstrued words and stuttered apologies.

Hashirama broke out of his bipolar disorder. "Haha, just kidding!" He was, naturally, greeted by a fist.

Huffing, Madara turned his back to his friend and hunched over. His idea was great, his idea of utopia was great. But he just needed one more type of people.

He needed the philosopher. He needed the people who could step back and look at the picture of society as a whole, understand what humanity is and where it would lead, the ethics, reality, and _truth_. They would teach children, not of ideas nor knowledge nor skill, but _thought._ So that the every generation would not mindlessly follow the words of their fathers, their society, their leaders, but think for themselves. Figure out for themselves what to do, who they were to become.

The economist, the engineer, the priest, the politician, the media, the militia, the scientist, the artist, and the philosopher. And maybe an entertainer to lighten the mood, and someone to record history and document it for posterity. The society will be of a meritocracy. With this set, civilization will reach a new age of enlightenment, the breaking of a new dawn.

Dawn. Yeah, his idea was _great_.

"Your idea is the _worst_," said Hashirama. "You're asking for an elitist society, one that probably won't last a decade before everyone drops dead. You can't use people's natural dispositions and technical skills to form a hierarchy."

"And you propose it's better to rank people based on who can beat who up?"

"Yes!"

"And you're going to make the strongest call the shots even if he's an idiotic child who knows _nothing _about domestic policy?"

"Inner strength, will, determination, hard work, necessarily coupled with awesome genetics, will obviously make a better leader than some _intellectual_."

Madara gave the deadpan. "You're kidding."

"Alright, it is clear we have our disagreements." Hashirama sighed.

Madara grinned and rolled up his sleeve. "There's only one way to settle this."

The two stared at each other in a moment of intense glares, fists ready.

"_Saisho wa guu! Janken pon!_"

Madara looked at his rock to Hashirama's paper, and collapsed to the ground in defeat.

Meanwhile, Hashirama jumped to his feet, celebrating his victory. He pointed excitedly to a patch of trees below, and said, "So we're going to have a noodle restaurant between that boulder and that tree, and a toy shop down there, and a giant water tank over there, and ooh, an arena!"

While Hashirama went on to ideas about worldwide tournament in which kids can beat each other up for the sake of job promotion, Madara slouched, a inexplicable sour expression on his face.

"... and our glorious heads will be carved here..."

Madara beamed a little.

"...and the public toilet is going to be located there..."

Madara groaned.

.

**A decade or so later...**

Hashirama crouched down before his fallen comrade. "Come on, Madara, can we get to building that village, _please_?"

Madara covered his bleeding eyes. "For gods sake, kill me already."

"I've even come up with a name! Konoha. Get it? Since the place is all leafy."

Tobirama rolled his eyes. "Just take mercy and kill him, brother. It's clear he's not interested."

Hashirama glared in a way that had the entire fifty kilometer freeze and shudder, before returning to Madara. "Come on! Everyone knows the Uchiha are a collectable. You can't have an awesome new order society without them!"

Gritting through his teeth, Madara took Hashirama's hand and said, "Okay, I'll build this society with you, so that one day, when you're dead and buried six feet under, _my_ society will come and nuke yours to the ground."

Hashirama laughed and patted his friend on the back. "Oh, you're so funny, Madara. As if you'll succeed."

Maybe not. But at least they'll be pretty badass.

And thus, a new village was established.


End file.
